Tatt-who? And Where In The World Is Luis Suarez

Screen Shot 2013-07-31 at 18.54.03Before I begin I want to say although they’re not my cup of tea I don’t have any real problem with tattoo’s – I don’t have any myself, I have to say! I felt compelled to write something about that ridiculous nonsense I saw about the former Newcastle trainee, Nile Ranger, having his surname tattooed across his head. Does he not know his name?!

It’s embarrassing and indicative of the modern footballer, the kid who thinks he’s made it before he’s done anything in the game. That’s something he’s going to regret when he’s older, not least because it looks like it says “Ranges”… it just looks ridiculous, serves no purpose and any statement he’s trying to make is undermined by the fact that he is going to end up remembered more for making an idiot of himself or getting into trouble than being a talented footballer.

My close friend Imre Varadi had a tattoo which he regretted and had to have the laser surgery to have it removed – like I said, each to their own, but it’s a painful thing to do if you realise it’s a mistake.

Another player who isn’t going to win any medals for his intelligence is Liverpool player Luis Suarez, who says he wants to leave the club to get away from the English media. Where does he want to go? The capital of England! Somebody wants to get this guy a map or a compass because his GPS is clearly not working.

There’s talk that Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger – a manager renowned for making wise investments – is weighing up a £50m bid after making a £40m and 1p offer (!). Not the wisest move for me, that one – this is a player who has a track record of causing trouble wherever he goes and although Liverpool will be laughing if they get such a return on him, it represents a huge gamble for Wenger and Arsenal if the player offends on such a scale that we have already seen.

Compare it to a mortgage – would you spend £50m on a house if you knew that in two years time you might not get half of that for it? I suppose any transfer is a gamble or a risk if you consider that a player is just one bad tackle away from either retiring or never being the same again (and I know that more than anyone) but some players are a bigger risk than others due to their behaviour… to complete the analogy, if you asked me if I’d be willing to put my house on Suarez, I’d have to say no and point you in the direction of the player who signed for Liverpool on the same day as the Uruguayan, Andy Carroll.

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